“I think that’s part of the dynamic with five kids…our parents weren’t micromanagers. We all raised each other along the way.”
 "He's the oldest. He's the rock." "The patriarch." "He's the deep diver. The guy on the phone with all the doctors, communicating everything and making it beautiful and artistic along the way."
 "He's the fireman, and if there's any kind of fire he just wants to grab the hose and put it out." "He's not afraid of fire. He's a leader and people follow him." "Yet at the same time, he instigates...an arsonist fireman!"
 "That’s easy—she’s our producer.” “She's always been like that. She did my senior year scrapbook.” “Mine too!” “I organized Christmases. I made sure everybody had the presents they wanted and then I wrapped them for Mom.” “She does it effortlessly. She weaves stuff together and makes it happen. That’s her superpower.”
 "She’s the healer and the baby whisperer.” “The mediator…the harmonizer." “She’s so even keeled." “When Dad was going through chemo she would sit and rub his feet.”
 “He’s the rebel with a cause.” “He has been the most free. He did his own thing.” “He was the only one still at home when Mom and Dad split.” “I got to hear all the fallout of the divorce. I didn’t process it then, but I know it now. It’s probably why I moved away for a while.” “And then you were the one right next to Mom when she left the planet.”
 "When there are five kids, nobody is fully the middle child."
 "Our Dad wasn’t focused on the world. Like his brother said at the funeral: He had no concept of space and time." “Which was maddening to our mother. He would say, 'The kids need to go to Paris for the summer!’” “And Mom would say, 'NO, they need sneakers.'" “And we would say, "Nikes! Michael Jordans! NOT walking shoes from Mervyn's.”
 “Losing your parents like we did reframes everything. It accelerates a lot of conversations that some people never have. I had incredible conversations with them…and fights too. It really is the second cutting of the cord.”
 "When Mom was dying, I could be across the room and say, "Mama?" and she would wake right up." “But when  I  would say it, she would be like, "Zzzzzzz." "You know she was thinking, "He’ll be FINE. But the other one…she needs a heavy sweater."
 "There was the time I stole Dad’s cigarettes and I woke up to you standing over me holding them. You were 7 or 8. So you’re holding these cigarettes and I—criminal mind!—I quickly said, 'Those were cigarettes we took from Mom and Dad to help them quit smoking.' So then we’re out by the shed breaking cigarettes in half when Dad walks up. He said, 'What the hell are you doing?!' And you said, 'We’re saving you from smoking!' And Dad looked at me totally knowing and said, 'You owe me $5.' And he walked off."
 "One time Dad gave us this lecture about walking away instead of fighting, and that same night we had this fight. One thing my brother knows how to do is to weaponize words...So we were fighting and he started teasing me saying, 'I’m going to walk away…I’m going to walk away!' I scrambled up on the top bunk bed and leaned out with my thighs on the edge of the bed and my hand on the door. And I said, ‘You’re not going to fucking walk away! You’re going to finish this fight!’ And he just swiped at my arm and I fell off the bunkbed and instantly broke my arm. That night when I was in bed—white as a sheet with a broken arm—the whole time all I could think about was that Dad told us not to fight and said to walk away. And we didn’t. This was our fault. I wasn’t even mad at my brother. I knew it, man. Our fault! He had given us the lecture THAT night. I mean, goddammit."
 "Dad always said we were his investment portfolio." "And Mom said we were her pièce de résistance."
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